Our next-door neighbor Nate works for Red Bull running their major outdoor events and after years in that industry, he has had interactions with many of the best extreme sport athletes in the world.
He's a lifelong LA sports fan and has 2 young daughters who play in local rec leagues so, like all parents, he's always curious to learn more about what tools he can give his kids to be successful on the athletic field, and ultimately in life.
Recently he found himself chatting with one Red Bull sponsored athlete who is at the top of the food chain in his sport, and Nate asked him what the keys to athletic success are, in his opinion. This athlete's response was a list of 4 pillars of success, the last of which I found fascinating.
- Dedication
- Repetition
- Progression
These seemed pretty obvious to me. Anyone who has excelled at anything at a high level has possessed dedication to their craft, the willingness to put the repetitive work in to achieve mastery, and the desire to continue progressing.
Can you guess the 4th element of success? It's probably not what you think...
4. FAILURE!
I absolutely loved hearing this.
If a person is not willing to fail, then growth is impossible.
I talk a lot about the "comfort zone" with kids in my lessons and at camps and I am continually challenging my players to be willing to get out of the comfort zones, which always leads to short-term "failure" - temporarily. And while the struggle in the short-term might be frustrating, battling through the failure is the secret to improvement and growth.
For example, whenever I teach a lesson student something new with their pitching mechanics and then ask them to throw a pitch working on that skill, I always give them permission to fail by first saying something like, "I literally don't care where you throw this ball, as long as your front foot steps straight to the target."
By letting them know that I expect them to fail at first (and that's not only OK, but actively part of our learning process) and by taking away the emotional attachment or "stigma" of failing, kids are able to get out of their comfort zone and simply focus on trying new things which, after some initial struggles, always leads to development and progression.
Creating environments where kids feel encouraged to try new things and feel willing to fail is an essential skill to have as a coach and parent when working with young athletes. And embracing that environment is an important skill for players to develop, not simply for their time on the field, but in LIFE!
A 9 year old "failing" on the baseball field means nothing in terms of the trajectory of his life.
Same goes for "failing" at soccer practice when they're 11. It literally doesn't matter. There are no scouts in youth sports and nobody is getting offered a college scholarship at tee ball practice.
But learning HOW to fail, learning how to be WILLING to fail, learning to how to DEAL with failing absolutely IS an essential skill that very well might change the trajectory of their lives as they get older. And not just in sports (which will end sooner rather than later for almost everyone), but in the real world.
Want to have a child who someday knows how to bounce back after losing their job? Let them learn how to fail NOW.
Want to have a child who someday has the tools to be thrown into new environments (like college) without fear of being uncomfortable? Let the learn how to get out of their comfort zones NOW.
This is why I absolutely love teaching kids and why youth sports, when done right by focusing on what truly matters at young ages, can have such a profoundly positive impact on our player's development as humans.
Using the athletic field to teach failure, when the outcome literally never matters, will only help prepare them for life when how they respond to failure actually might matter in a very real-world way.
Every single time our kids "fail" in youth sports, they're learning skills that will help them when they don't get into their 1st choice for college, for when they lose their job, or get dumped before prom.
Those are the type of real-life events that we want to use sports to prepare our kids for so let's make sure that we're not simply accepting of failure in our kids, but actively encouraging risk-taking as a means to get outside of comfort zones and acquire tools that will serve them long past when their sports careers end.
Play Hard, Have Fun!