“Mental High-Five”

Mookie Betts and high stakes poker. Keep reading…I promise it will all make sense :-)

One of my favorite things to do in what little free time I have from coaching baseball and being a Dad is play poker, and with the WSOP Main Event happening in Vegas right now, I've been thinking a lot about the game these past few days.

Several years ago, I was fortunate enough to become good friends with a few of the absolute best high stakes poker players in the world (names I won't mention but that you would immediately recognize if you pay even a little bit of attention to poker) and I spent a good amount of time getting coached by them.

In addition to the intense strategic thinking that goes into every decision, poker is an extremely challenging game mentally because of the element of luck involved. There are a lot of outcomes in the game that are beyond the player's control, regardless of how well prepared they are or how hard they work to be successful. Sound similar to another game we all love? :-)

During an in-person poker coaching session, one of my poker mentors walked me through a recent hand he played. I won't bore you with the details if you're not a poker player, but essentially he analyzed a situation on the Turn, made what he thought was the best decision available, and put his chips in the pot. He ended up losing the hand, which of course happens frequently to all players, but what he said next really stuck with me.

"Even though I lost this hand, because I liked my decision-making process, it's IMPERATIVE that I give myself a mental high-five, despite the result, so that I stay confident for the next hand."

What's a mental high-five?

Even though he lost that one hand, because the process was sound, not only did he not feel bad about the outcome, he recognized how important it was to remind himself to feel good so that he stayed in a positive state of mind for future hands. So he coined the phrase "mental high-five." He developed a tool to help him stay in the right frame of mind for the next hand, rather than getting upset by the results of the last hand.

Genius!

A few days ago, Mookie Betts was in the broadcast booth for the Dodgers game and talked about the importance of "positive self-talk." You can probably find the video of his discussion during the broadcast and a mic'd up batting practice session where you can hear him audibly pumping himself up after each swing.  Mental high-fives!

And even after bad swings, his self-talk was positive. Lots of, "Let's go, you got this" and absolutely zero of, "God, you suck!"

Like in poker, a lot of the results in baseball are completely out of our hands.

Crush a ball into the outfield and the Centerfielder makes a diving catch? Great process, unfortunate result. MENTAL HIGH-FIVE!

Throw a great pitch and the batter still gets enough of it for a bloop hit? Great process, unfortunate result. MENTAL HIGH-FIVE!

Hit a ground ball to Short Stop, run as hard as you can, and the ump calls you out at 1st on a bang-bang play? Great process, unfortunate result. MENTAL HIGH-FIVE!

Go all-in on the turn with the best hand at the time and lose on the river to an unlucky card? Great process, unfortunate result. MENTAL HIGH-FIVE!

Anyone playing in a competitive space at a high-level has not only mastered the mechanics of their craft, but also optimized their mental approach to be best prepared to deal with both successes and failures.

The primary goal in youth sports should not be focusing on tallying wins or personal accolades, but rather on teaching our kids to be resilient and level-headed in the face of adversity. It should be about teaching them how to give themselves mental high-fives and positive self-talk. It should be about teaching them how not to dwell on the last play, but how to immediately turn the page and focus on the next play.

Sadly, I don't think nearly enough time is spent on teaching kids the mental side of being an athlete, to the detriment of their development.

By giving kids strategies like the mental high-five that celebrate the process regardless of the outcome, we are preparing them not only to be better athletes on the field, but better prepared humans for all the ups and downs that they will experience in their lives.

Let's always make sure to go out of our way to celebrate the process, especially when it results in a negative outcome that was out of our control.

Let's use positive talk to motivate our players and teach them to start treating themselves mentally in a way that will make them more likely to have grit and determination when things don't go their way.

Let's learn from how the best in their field approach their craft, not only from a technical standpoint, but from a mental one as well.

Because just like unlucky river cards are common in poker, bad calls, bad hops, and hard hit balls that result in outs are super common in baseball.

In both games (and in life), having tools to deal effectively with the rollercoaster of results is essential!

Now give yourself a mental high-five for getting to the end of this blog :-)

Play Hard, Have Fun!


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