I did a lesson recently that made me think of a great way for all players (and really, all people) to approach the new year, and I thought it would make an appropriate blog for January 1.
This particular lesson student is relatively new to pitching and while he's a big, strong kid, he hasn't really unleashed his potential in terms of his arm speed yet.
One of the reasons he's holding back is that he's still getting comfortable with the mechanics. That's totally normal! Another reason is that he's hyper-aware of wanting to throw strikes and sometimes "aims" the ball (which not only reduces his arm speed, but also makes throwing strikes more difficult). Again, totally normal for young pitchers!
So, towards the end of our lesson, I encouraged him to try to throw the ball harder because I believed he had the ability to be more aggressive with his arm and still throw strikes. I wanted him to get out of his comfort zone in a setting where "failure" didn't matter, but I was also very clear about why wanted him to try to throw it harder.
It had NOTHING to do with trying to light up a radar gun (something you will absolutely never see me use because velocity truly doesn't matter until a pitcher is fully grown physically).
But more importantly it really had NOTHING to do with his velocity compared to anyone else's velocity.
It was simply about encouraging him to get as much out of his potential as possible.
And THAT'S the type of competition we should be chasing in 2025; challenging ourselves to beat...ourselves!
Setting personal growth goals with progress measured against our past selves is a form of very healthy competition, that also makes goals more attainable.
In the current youth sports world, many parents are living in constant fear that their child might fall behind, or that they aren't on the "right" team, or that they're not in the "right" division. And that fear is putting many children in the unfair position of constantly being compared to their peers, or even worse compared to what parents might be seeing on the internet.
I don't know about you, but my Instagram feed is filled with some random 8 year old throwing 65 mph, another 10 year old from who knows where hitting 375 foot homeruns, and some 12 year old catcher with a 1.8 pop-up time. We see videos of outliers like that every day and it's really easy to worry that our kid has fallen behind! I mean, look how incredible those kids are, right?!?
WRONG!
Back in the real world, kids of the same age are so different physically, mentally, and athletically that comparison is pointless, both for the kid who is "ahead" and for the kid who is "behind."
So much of the statistical "success" at the youth levels is simply a result of current size and strength, and that type of talent is not a predictor of future "success."
For example, my 10 year old son is small for his age. To compare his ability right now to hit the ball to the fence on the Major Field (he physically can't do it no matter how hard he swings or how perfectly he makes contact) to another bigger, stronger 10 year old is not only unfair to him, but also not at all indicative of who will be able to hit the ball further when they're both 18 and close to fully grown.
Another household comparison: my son wanted to play every single sport starting when he was 3...so I signed him up for everything he wanted to play as soon as I could.
My 8 year old daughter on the other hand, has only recently expressed an interest in playing team sports.
They are very different kids and while I initially wondered why my daughter didn't want to do exactly what my son wanted to do at the same age, and I even found even found myself comparing them to each other, I eventually reminded myself that they are very different people who will do things on their own natural timeline.
The same goes for your kids and their peers.
Some kids grow faster than others.
Some kids show an interest in sports later than others.
Some kids are more advanced in math right now.
Others are "ahead" in reading.
Some can catch and throw when they're 5, others won't be able to until they're 8.
Every child is different and the constant comparison to and competition with others, especially in sports, is filling parents with anxiety and making the youth sports experience more stressful for kids.
A healthier and more productive way to "be competitive" in 2025 is to take honest stock of where your young athlete is on January 1 and then, with them participating in the conversation, set realistic goals for their development compared to themselves, rather than to those around them.
That way, they'll have a chance for success that is wholly dependent on their effort; they control their own destiny!
Me worrying that Maddux can't hit over the Centerfielder's head right now makes about as much sense as me worrying that the kid who is 9 inches taller than he is will get more rebounds in our next basketball game.
Me worrying that Sloane, who will be playing Softball for the first time in 2025, doesn't know as much about when to cover second base as the players on her team who have been playing since they were 5 makes as much sense as me worrying that the 7th grader at her school knows more math than she does.
She'll learn at her own pace and develop new softball skills at her own pace this season and as long as she's grown as an athlete and teammate in the time between her first practice and her last game, I'll be proud of her knowing that she's progressing. I could care less how her skills compare to those around her.
I could care less if Maddux ever hits a homerun in Little League (I didn't hit a homerun first the time until I was 16 years old!); but if he works hard this season and is a great teammate, I'll be proud of his progress regardless of how he compares to other 10 year olds.
Sitting down with my kids on January 1 and making a list of goals for the new year compared to what each of them are capable of now, rather than to what some of their peers might be capable of, is a worthwhile endeavor that is setting them up to have a year full of personal growth and satisfaction.
If we all do the same with our kids, we'll reduce the amount of fear coming out of the stands (which would be really healthy for our own mental health as parents and to the environment we create for our kids) while also reducing anxiety in our athletes, making their youth sports experience more enjoyable and rewarding.
I can't wait for an amazing 2025!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!