Before starting my "siesta" story at Summer Camp (our post-lunch chill-out time when I get to tell baseball stories before getting back to the action on the field) earlier this month, I asked the kids a simple question: "Who here has felt pressure, nervousness, or anxiety playing sports?"

All 50 campers put their hands up. (That made me sad.)

Then I asked another question: "Who has ever felt pressure or nervousness or anxiety playing Monopoly?" Some kids giggled at the thought. Most of the kids gave me a look like, "Huh? Why would anyone feel nervous playing Monopoly?" (Which was exactly the point of my question).

But not one hand went up.

So why are our kids feeling pressure when they're PLAYING sports but not when they're PLAYING games?

Sadly, the answer is most often looking us right in the mirror. Adults.

Kids play sports for 2 main reasons. 1) to have fun and 2) to be with their friends.

They don't think about making the high school team or college scholarships or leveling up their skills to make a club team (which is silly anyway because almost zero club teams these days actually "cut" anyone). Those are things adults think about.

Kids play to have fun.

The literal definition of "play" is "to engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious purpose."

And that's why kids play sports and games.

Yes, there are lots of extremely valuable skills and lessons to learn from playing youth sports - some that I might even consider "serious." Things like learning how to function on a team. Learning how to deal with adversity. Learning how to be a great teammate. Learning how to win with class and lose with grace.

But winning a championship when they're 9 isn't the reason to play. Playing perfect defense isn't the reason to play. Never swinging at a bad pitch isn't the reason to play. Making the all-star team isn't the reason to play.

The "next level" isn't something that motivates kids to play. Being "elite" isn't something that motivates kids to play.

Having fun and being with their friends is.

Most of the reasons why kids feel anxiety or nervousness playing sports are because of things adults care about being projected on them. And when adults project THEIR desires onto their kids, kids are quick to pick up on that and the result is always that they start having less fun due to the pressure they feel.

At Summer Camp, we work hard on skill development but ALWAYS make sure the kids are having fun during the drills. That's why my coaches don't ever yell at them if they make a mistake or put any extra results-based pressure on them. My coaches never express disappointment, frustration, or anger when errors happen. By creating a fun-first atmosphere, the kids can learn to work hard to improve their skills while also having fun at the same time. The more fun they're having, the more they're going to want to be on the field playing ball, and the more rapidly their skills will improve.

We also expect the kids to play hard in our camp games and during drills; hustling on and off the field, being down and ready, diving for groundballs, cheering from the dugout, sprinting through 1st base, knowing what the batting line-up is, etc are all areas during the camp day that we put a lot of emphasis on.

But there is a big difference between positively encouraging effort and unrealistically demanding perfection.

When coaches and adults create a results-first sports atmosphere filled with pressure, anxiety, yelling, and punishments for mistakes, not only will those kids not have any fun in the moment, they also won't want to come back to the sport down the road and will quit playing entirely.

With a fun-first sports atmosphere filled with joy, energy, excitement, and positivity, not only will those kids have more fun, they will play better, and will want to continue with the sport in the future.

I get asked all the time: "Dan, I just want my kid to play high school baseball. How can I make that happen for him?"

And my answer always surprises them: "Make sure they still like baseball when they're 15."

I know that when I'm asked that question, what that parent is looking for is a roadmap of how many swings to take every day, which teams to play on, what drills to do, how hard to throw, etc, etc.

But here's the reality as simply as I can put it: If your son quits baseball when he's 14, he won't even give himself the opportunity to try out for the high school team.

You can't make a team if you quit the sport before the tryout.

And what's the #1 reason why kids quit sports? "Because it's not fun anymore."

And the #1 causes of "not having fun?" Getting yelled at, feeling pressure, and experiencing emotional burnout from not having time off because of year-round intense participation.

So as parents and coaches, we MUST MUST MUST help kids develop a love for the game they're playing, and that love starts with making sure that going to practice and games is the most FUN thing they do all day.

When we lose sight of that by worrying about stats or who is going to make the all-star team or if my kid will make the high school team someday we are not only robbing them of their enjoyment of the game in the short-term, we are making it far less likely that they'll even still be playing the game in the long-term... when that phantom "next level" arrives.

And for all the kids playing right now who don't have aspirations to play past age 12 or 13, a fun-first atmosphere will give them the best possible Little League experience as well. Everybody wins when the kids are having fun.

And nobody wins when the kids aren't.

Play Hard, HAVE FUN!