With the first games of the Little League regular season happening this weekend, I wanted to take a minute to talk about one of the best opportunities we as parents and coaches have to support the athletic mental health of our ballplayers, and it doesn't even happen on the field.
I'm talking about "The Car Ride Home."

Numerous studies and sports psychologists have identified the car ride home as one of the biggest reasons why kids choose to quit sports.  On the way home after the game, many parents start peppering their athlete with all the things they could have done better, reminding them of all the mistakes they made, and asking accusatory questions about their performance.

"Why did you swing at that pitch in the dirt?"
"I thought you were really aiming the ball on the mound."
"You need to be a lot more aggressive out there."
"You gotta get your glove down on groundballs."

There is absolutely a time and place to have these conversations and address areas of potential improvement in a positive way, but immediately after the game when young athletes are still trying to figure out how they feel about the game is not the right time for that.

If they had a great game and want to talk about it, then by all means, pump them up for their performance.  But if they had a rough outing on the mound, or a bad day at plate, or made a crucial error in the field, it's definitely best to just give them some space, especially immediately after the game when their emotions are going to still be really raw.

We definitely don't want to ignore what we might want to work on in the next practice - games are incredible opportunities to learn from mistakes - we're just not going to start that process 5 minutes after the final out.

When the game ends, and their coach is done with his post-game meeting, the best thing to say to them in car ride home is "I love watching you play."  Then go get ice cream or take them to In N Out (or both!), enjoy the rest of the day, and address the areas where they can improve at the next practice.

This is a 3 year old Maddux at a post-Tee Ball In N Out trip. I remember this game clearly: he totally booted an easy double-play ball, his 2-strike hitting approach just wasn't very good, and he really struggled to get his curveball down in the zone, but we didn't talk about any of it! We just crushed a Double-Double and a milkshake and then went to the beach for the rest of the day.  -:)

When you let your son or daughter process their post-game emotions on their own, their season will be much more enjoyable, and for you as a well-meaning parent and/or coach, your post-game messages will be much better received (and therefore much more effective) if you relay them at a time when they are better equipped mentally to receive constructive criticism or corrective suggestions.

Have fun this season!