I did a lesson yesterday with a long-time student who is now 11 and playing Majors for the first time. I first started coaching him when he was 5. Boy, does time fly!

In his first game of the season, his team faced a really tough pitcher who threw incredibly hard and for those of you with older kids, you know that a 12 year old throwing ~70 mph from 46 feet is basically the equivalent of trying to hit a 105 mph fastball from 60 feet. Not easy!

Anyway, we were talking through his game at-bats to help prepare him for higher velocity and I asked him if this pitcher had any off-speed stuff. He said yes. I asked if he mostly threw his curveball with 2 strikes like most Little Leaguers do, and his answer was awesome.

He said, "No. He'll throw off-speed pitches in lots of different counts. He's just really good."

Let me tell you how refreshing that was to hear!

My student didn't make an excuse about why he didn't get a hit off of him.

He didn't blame the umpire.

He didn't say the sun was in his eyes or that the dirt in the batter's box was uneven (both comments I've heard recently from players).

He didn't say he was tired from the night before or twisted his ankle at recess.

He was honest with himself and admitted, that in that game, against that pitcher, he simply got beat.

One of the most valuable lessons a kid can learn through youth sports is to give his best effort, understand that despite that he might not get the result he wants, and then still have the mental toughness to show up the next day with a positive attitude, motivated to keep improving and competing.

I couldn't have been prouder of him for having such a mature response to what was an obviously tough game for him.

But that's sports. And life, sometimes.

In a day in age where it feels like everyone's immediate response to something (anything) not going their way is to point fingers, assign blame, or make excuses, for an 11 year to be wise enough to truly understand the meaning of competition (much better than many adults do, I might add), was just awesome.

He tried his best, got beat, gave credit to the pitcher, and then went right back to work in the lesson so he would be as prepared as possible for the next battle.

This kid is a winner, period.

By being honest about what happened rather than make excuses, he and I were able to strategically focus on concepts that will help him improve and increase his chances of success in future games.

If he had made excuses, that would have (falsely) implied that he did everything right in the game and that there was no room for improvement.

It's not easy to be honest with ourselves, especially about things we're struggling with or topics we're uncomfortable talking about. But athletes who are not honest about their performance (or at this age, have parents who are not honest about their performance) will not grow as athletes and individuals.

If an athlete doesn't admit his weaknesses, how will he know what part of his game needs work?!?

Kids: let's always strive to do our best but when we give a great effort and come up short, congratulate the opponent and remember that you have nothing to feel bad about! It's OK to be disappointed in the moment, but no athlete wins every battle and no team wins every game.

In fact, I think sports would be really boring if we won every game in a blowout. True competition means challenging yourself, and if you're appropriately challenged, you won't come out on the top every time. And that's OK!

Being competitive does not mean playing to win at all costs or finding excuses when we lose. It means giving your best effort in the spirit of the game, playing with intensity and integrity, and then winning (and losing) with grace.

Parents: celebrate your kid's effort, don't be afraid to give credit to other players or teams, and embrace the "competition" for what it's supposed to be: an opportunity for your child to challenge himself and learn from the experience, win or lose. Also, be prepared to be honest (in a positive way of course) in the areas your athlete needs help in. It's easy to say, "the umpire screwed him on an outside pitch and that's why he struck out." It's hard to admit, "he needs to work on his 2-strike approach because he probably could have fouled that pitch off."

It's easy to say, "the ball took a bad hop and that's why he made an error." It's hard to admit, "his footwork could have been better to get the ball 1 hop sooner."

I came home from that lesson feeling so good about the future and I hope everyone (players, parents, and coaches alike) will channel that young man's attitude all season long.

Play Hard, Have Fun!